He's here! And it's here! Whoo hoo!

HE'S HERE!!

Baby boy number two made his grand entrance into the world on August 8th, weighing a whopping 10 lb, 2 oz.  Which means I have lots of cheeks to kiss and lots of baby to feed.  Big brother loves giving him kisses and patting him gently, then running off to play or get into trouble.  Big brother (previously nicknamed My Lil Monkey on the blog) will from now on be know on the blogosphere simply as E, and this little/big guy will be called A.  So yeah, you probably STILL won't see a lot of posts from me, until we settle into more of a routine, but I wanted to let my blog friends know the exciting news.  :)

IT'S HERE!!


And just a quick shout out to my writer friends, if you don't know about WriteOnCon, you are totally missing out!  If you do know about it, I appreciate you taking time to read this post when you could be learning all kinds of awesome things at this A-MA-ZING online writing conference for those who write picture books, middle grade or YA.  Oh, and did I mention it's completely FREE?!?  Unless you want to make a donation to the awesomeness, of course.  How cool to get to go to a writing conference with a newborn napping on my lap? :)  And one cool thing (among it's many cool features) is if you miss a session, you can still find it later on.   So I'll probably be viewing a few sessions every day for the next couple days/weeks.  So basically, a month long conference for me!

Any one else gonna be participating in WriteOnCon?  Hope to see you there!

My Monkey Turns 2!

Two years ago today, this little dude showed up in our life:

And what a joy he has been!   Two years later, he keeps me busy.  I don’t post a lot of personal family stuff on here, but since today is special I figured I’d let you in on the awesomeness of my little birthday boy.

• He LOVES to play outside, so whenever you mention the words “bye bye” or “outside” he runs to bring you his shoes and drops them at your feet, then runs to the closet where we keep his jacket.  Even if it’s like 100 degrees outside.  If we don’t mention those words, well he’ll let us know when he’s ready to play outside.  He’ll bring you his shoes.  If you don’t get the clue, he’ll bring you YOUR shoes.  And if you still don’t get the clue/ are ignoring his obvious clues, he’ll bring you another pair of your shoes, just in case he brought you the wrong ones.  One time he brought me two pairs of his shoes, a pair of my flip-flops, my tennis shoes, and my dress shoes before I finally gave in.
• He loves to collect leaves and sticks.  Sometimes he hands them to me proudly, and before our outdoor adventures are over, I have a little bouquet.
• Every time he comes across a sewer man-hole cover he plops down.  It’s like it’s his own little seat or something.  And if it just rained recently, well then, he's in heaven.  He won't sit on it, but he'll splash around in the water resting on the cover for a while.  Who knew rusty water could be so much fun?!
• He loves figuring out how things work.  If you give him a new toy he has to figure out how it works before he starts to play with it.  We call him our little engineer.
• He won’t let me fall asleep while we’re watching his fave show, Word World together.  If I start to fall asleep he’ll put his weight on me and make a loud noise and the first thing I see when I startle awake is a huge grin and wide eyes right up in my face.
• Oh, and speaking of TV, I think he’s addicted.  We’ve had to hide the remote because he would turn on the TV himself and plop himself in front of the TV and watch whatever happened to be on.  We now keep the remote high on a bookshelf.  When he wants to watch TV he goes over to the bookshelf, and signs “please”.  I’m afraid to teach him the sign language for TV, so we’ll just stick with this polite phrase for now because who knows what will happen if he knows how to ask for TV any time he wants….
• He has a ridiculous number of books, but it’s the same two he wants to read EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
• He loves to color so much that after I showed him the sign for it twice, he had it down.  It's the fastest sign he's ever mastered. 
• He sleeps in a nest of receiving blankets.  He cuddles with one, and the rest just form a little cocoon that he nestles into.  Anytime I can’t find his socks, I just look through the nest. I’m bound to find a few pairs in there.
• The Hubster and I have been teaching him to clean up his toys before bed.  He does this fairly well some nights.  Most nights though, he realizes he’d rather just go to bed than clean, so after picking up one or two things he’ll just toddle off to his bedroom and wait for us to put him in bed. 
• When he waves bye-bye he waves backwards, like he’s waving at himself.  I guess that’s the way he sees it, so it makes sense.  And then after the wave, it’s accompanied by him proudly blowing a kiss.

Happy birthday my little buddy! 

Mommy loves you so much and is so proud of you!

Let's Get Personal (Part II)

In my previous post, I shared the obstacles my 20 month old son has endured in his little life.  Now, I want to talk about how it has impacted me.  If you have't read about the obstacles, you may want to do so first.


How it felt along the journey:
I think for a while, I felt lost.  I felt like a failure, like maybe if I had done something different, something earlier, my son wouldn't have had so many struggles.  Maybe he wouldn't have had so many physical delays if I had been more persistent with the pediatrician earlier.  Or if I had given him more tummy time earlier on despite the cries.
Maybe he wouldn't have speech delays if we had him fitted for his hearing aid much sooner.  The list went on.

These thoughts would often get compounded when I was with other moms whose kids were similar in age to my son and able to do things my son couldn't.  In fact, a baby at church, just three weeks younger than my son, was walking before my son was even crawling.  My nephew, four months younger than my son, was running and while my son was still crawling.  A toddler just a month older than mine who is speaking in full sentences and singing entire songs.  It was hard not to compare and to blame myself.

I also felt like I was fully responsible for him.  Like I had to devote more attention to him.  Do his PT exercises.  And if I was writing, then I wasn't spending the time with him he needed.  So, I shelved my writing for a long time.  Once the doctor visits slowed I picked up my manuscript again, but it was a half-hearted thing.  I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with my writing or with this blog so I found it easier to do little with both and hope something happens.  Unfortunately, nothing happens with that mindset.

My faith experienced a lot of highs and lows.  I never was mad at God for any of this happening to my son.  But I really struggled with the comparison trap.  I had to learn to stop comparing him to other babies and just love him for who he is.  To just enjoy every milestone and stop worrying.  And that took lots of prayer.  Hubster and I prayed often for our son, for his development.  And we would praise God when he took a step in the right direction.  Lately, we've had a lot more praises then petitions.  And all along, God has proven Himself faithful.

So, what's the point?
Good question.  I've struggled with what to do with this blog.  Should it be only about my writing?  But I haven't been doing much of it.  I definitely don't want it to be completely about personal stuff, but I really felt like I should share what's really going on in my life and in my heart.  That's what makes me the person, the writer that I am.

I started blogging because I wanted to build community.  I've met so many amazing blogging buddies and learned so much.  But I believe that part of building a community is being honest and sharing each other's burdens.  So here's mine.  Feel free to lay yours on me.  :)

Thanks for sharing in the journey with me.

Let's Get Personal...

*Disclaimer: This post is long and filled with me sharing honest life struggles.  Read at your own risk.*

I feel like I'm coming back.  Coming back to my passion and gifting of writing.  Coming back to being the mom, the wife, the person I need to be.  I don't know exactly where I went, but I know it had a lot to do with my role as mommy and the journey we've been on.  I feel compelled to share a journey I've been on with my son and hubster and God.  I kept it from my blog because I felt it was too personal.  But I really feel I need to share it.  Share what we've been going through and why it's impacted my writing and my faith and who I am.  And I hope that if there's anyone struggling with similar things with their kiddos, that they stumble across this post and find it helpful.

You see, my son (almost 20 months) has had a lot of obstacles in his short life.  Obstacles that have been time consuming, worrisome, and yet have molded me into a stronger mom, stronger woman, stronger Christian, and hopefully, a stronger writer.


Obstacle One:
When my son was born, a standard hearing test revealed a hearing loss in one ear.  We were told to bring him back in a month to see if perhaps it was temporary, just fluid in his ears, etc.  It wasn't.  Another referral to another doctor only confirmed he had a hearing loss.  They couldn't do anything until they determined how severe the loss was.  So we were referred to another specialist.  More confirmation he had a hearing loss in one ear but no further indication of it's severity.

Finally they recommended a sedated hearing test (ABR).  Before he was to be sedated (completely asleep) he needed a trip to the pediatrician two days before the sedation to clean his ears of wax and determine he was fit for sedation.  We scheduled his sedated test, I took him to his pediatrician and we were told due to fluid in his ear we had to reschedule the test.  A month later, we repeated the process.  No fluid, all was a go for the sedation.  But the morning of the sedation he had a cold and a fever and was therefore not able to be sedated.  Another month later, the same exact thing-another cold.

After three times, we felt like maybe this wasn't meant to be.  Back to the hearing specialist we went.  They did the test again, said there was nothing they could do, we had to do the sedated hearing test to get more information.

Fourth time was the charm.  He was an absolute champ with the IV, sedation, everything.  And finally, we were given the news.  He definitely had a hearing loss.  And it was severe.

That basically meant for the first year of his life he wasn't hearing much in that ear.  Luckily his other ear is working perfectly, but it was so frustrating to think he could have had a hearing aid so much sooner if we hadn't of had such a run-around with all these hearing tests, trips to audiologists and ENTs.  It wasn't until he was 15 months that the hearing aid was fitted and in.

I wasn't upset when I found out he was hearing impaired.  In fact, I don't even view him as such.  He's my lil monkey, my joy, one of the best things in my very blessed life.

Watching his favorite cartoon (with the remote, what a guy!) with his hearing aid in.

Obstacle Two:

My son still isn't talking.  He babbles but he doesn't say any words.  This could be due to the hearing loss, as he didn't babble much until after the hearing aid was in.  Or it could just be a normal speech delay amplified by the hearing loss.  Either way we do speech therapy bi-monthly through our Early Intervention services.  If your child or a child you knows has any kind of delay, call your state's Early Intervention services.  It's a free evaluation, in which they can help you give your child the services they need (speech, physical or occupational therapy, etc).   And you don't need a referral, so if you're concerned, just go.

Obstacle Three: 

When my son was little he would cry when we put him on his tummy.  Not just whine, but scream.  He hated being on his stomach.  He learned to roll from tummy to back quickly, but never rolled back to tummy.  He learned to sit on his own rather quickly, by 4 months.

By 9 months, he still wasn't rolling over back to tummy, nor was he making any attempts to move out of his sitting position.  His sit wasn't straight either, but like he was slightly hunched over as you can see in this photo.  I had asked the pediatrician about his physical development and my concerns multiple times, but they continually told me babies develop at different rates and that he'd catch up.  So at 9 months I put my foot down.  Told the pediatrician something was wrong.  Demanded they do something.  And they referred him to physical therapy and Early Intervention services.

Both have been life-savers.  Apparently, my son had a locked pelvis.  That meant that since babies these days spend so much time on their backs and sitting up, his pelvis was locked in those two positions.  His pelvis was probably already tight when he was born and worsened because he refused to be on his stomach.  When we laid him on his stomach his cries weren't because he hated Tummy Time.  It was because he was in pain.

The physical therapist (PT) told us if we hadn't come in before he was about a year, the locked pelvis could have become a permanent thing. He probably could have been in a wheelchair for life.

Weekly I took him in for physical therapy.  Our amazing PT did exercises and stretches on him that did not make him happy (in fact, he screamed for the majority of his first month or two of therapy) but immediately we could see results.  Instead of him always sitting in a curved posture, he could sit up straight.

Also, weekly, we went to the chiropractor, where she did manipulations on his back, hips, pelvis, and legs.

Within a month of PT and chiropractic care he was finally rolling over!  And just before his first birthday, he was finally on the move!  My boy was a crawler and life was good. :)

At this point we no longer needed chiropractic care, and went down to physical therapy every other week.  It was such a relief to have less appointments, both emotionally and financially.

He became such an expert crawler he didn't want to walk.  At 17 months he took his first tentative steps and I cried when both hubster and I witnessed it.  But immediately he returned to crawling, not attempting to walk again until he was 18 1/2 months.  Finally, at the beginning of his 19th month, he was walking exclusively!

Sometimes I get teary watching him walking around, a grin on his face as he discovers something new.  He's come a long way and I am so proud of him.

Below is a clip of him, after he'd only been walking ONE week.  I was so proud, but he was more impressed by the camera then strutting his stuff.

This concludes Part I of Let's Get Personal. In an effort to keep this post from being ridiculously long, please check out the next post, Let's Get Personal Part II.

Look Ma, No Hands!

And they say boys aren't good at multi-tasking. ;)

Proof My Son is a Genius Part II

My 8 1/2 month old son's newest hobbies in descending order of genius:

1) pushing buttons on the remote and looking to the TV to see if it did anything
2) biting his toy panda to get it to play music
3) licking the carpet

In case you missed it, Proof My Son is a Genius part I. :)

Eight!

My Lil Monkey just turned eight months old!  To celebrate I give you eight pics of My Lil Monkey from the past month....

Stuffed animal butts!

Look!  No hands!  Just drool.

Are you kidding?  You want me to play in this wet stuff?

Off to the park!

Peaches!  And spoon!  Yum!

Rubber ducky, you're the one.

Mom, I'll drool on the clean socks for you, ok?

And my absolute favorite photo from the month....

            drum roll please.....

You're still here?!  Thanks for sitting through all eight photos.  :)

Proof My Son is a Genius...

My Lil Monkey

My lil monkey had to live up to his nickname for Halloween.  Check out his first major holiday...

And a totally random pic I adore...

Five!

My little monkey is 5 months old today!  Here's the latest pics of him.  You can make your own photo collages courtesy of photovisi.

Disclaimer: He's not always dressed in blue and brown. ;)

I'll be posting his Halloween pics later today, so check back then.  You'll get to see him live up to his nickname. :)

Three

In honor of my little monkey's 3 month birthday, here are my fav 3 pics of him this week...

My Lil Monkey

If a picture is worth 1,000 words, then here are 3,000...

Rockin'

(Muse speaks in a blue font. Siren in red. And Jenn? In boring ol' black. Don't know what we're talking about? Check out this post: Does Your Creativity Have a Name?)

My little monkey sleeps in his swing today. He rocks back and forth, off in his baby dreamworld, trying to block out the sound of his mother tapping away on the keyboard and then deleting everything. This is my opportunity to write. But nothing productive comes.

Back and forth. As the swing rocks forward, I think I know what I want to write about. The swing goes backward and I've lost all sense of direction. Ethan is staying in generally the same place. So am I. Not accomplishing anything.

I feel as if I'm in a small boat. One that's being tossed about by the waves. Just rocking back and forth, not making progress. Muse and Siren battling it out. Muse rocks me forward. Siren rocks me back.

What is it that's holding me back? I think about it as I watch my son. I listen to his gentle snoring.

It's not writer's block. I have ideas. Maybe too many of them. Maybe that's what's paralyzing me right now.

I know what it is. It's a four letter word. Fear. But fear of what?

It's not the fear of failure. I'm used to that, I've lost count of the number of rejections I've received on my first Young Adult work.

And then a cold, drenching wave crashes over me. It's fear of success. The thought startles me, as I'm chilled to the bones. Why in the world would I be afraid of success? Maybe I'm afraid of actually writing something people will enjoy. Maybe I'm afraid my writing will reveal too much of the hidden things in my heart. Maybe I'm afraid success will change everything.

One thing I do know. Perfect love casts out all fear (1 John 4:18).

I must be bold enough to step out of the boat. It feels safe, but it will lead me nowhere. I mus

t take a step of faith. Walk towards Jesus on the water. Yeah, I might get wet. Soaked even. Waves might crash over my head. But I think I'd rather take that chance than just rock back and forth for the rest of my life.

So I'll go read my Bible now, as I read about God's perfect love. And I'll smile as I listen to my son's snores that are crescendoing right now while the waves are slowing.

The Pacifier

Yeah, The Pacifier was a lame movie. But, the pacifier for me is a life saver. Literally and figuratively....check it out.

Pacifier A: A life saver figuratively. Helps my monkey drift off to sleep. Mommy likes that.

Pacifier B: A life saver literally. It's a treat I made for my sister-in-law's baby shower on Saturday. It's made of peppermint Life Savers, different green and yellow Jelly Bellies (to match the theme of the shower of course!) and all held together with frosting. Definitely fun to make. And yummy too!

What do you think?  Has anyone else made these or planning on making these?

To Nap or Not to Nap...

My lil monkey decided he'd much rather talk to his friend Winnie the Pooh and smile at him than sleep....here are a few of the pics I captured of the unsuccessful nap.

My Lil Monkey Smiles!

Check out the video of my son smiling. :)

About Me

Hiya!

If you're reading this, it must be because you want to know more about me, so here we go...

Me: I used to be a middle school English teacher, but now I'm a stay-at-home mommy, which gives me more time to write (and blog too!). :) I love reading, writing, traveling, and hanging out with my family.  I've written a few YA books and am in the process of trying to get one of them published.  Fingers crossed!

My husband: Our wedding day is still one of the happiest days of my life. :)  Nothing quite like spending every day with your best friend.  My hubby's super supportive, hard-working, extremely intelligent, mega handsome, a doting dad and a stupendous software developer. (I think I'm entitled to be a little biased!)

My son: My lil monkey is the sweetest, most handsome baby ever. (Did I mention anything about being biased?)  His little grins make my heart smile. He brings us so much joy and I'm loving being a mommy. :)